Deadly Seduction: Mental Barrier

Have you seen how average guys miss the mark completely when talking to women in bars?

It’s a pretty sad sight. They initiate small talk and then move on because they cannot find anything else to talk about with the women.

Any onlooker will think that these men are satisfied with just having brief conversations with a few women, and that they don’t mind at all when conversations don’t lead anywhere.

When one average guy manages to lock lips with a gorgeous girl, get her number and goes home with the girl, he (and anyone he relates the story to) will think he just got lucky.

Did he really...?

Well, man, if that's what you think, this Mini Guide will open your eyes to the hidden secrets of female psychology.

Listen to me here. Getting lucky will not take your game higher, because in your head you have convinced yourself that it’s impossible to replicate the same feat whenever you try.

Before I reveal one of the worst things a guy can do to destroy his chances of succeeding with women anywhere and anytime (I will talk about this in detail this below...keep reading), let me tell you about this guy who starts his night getting rejected by women he approaches.

I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s a familiar sight. The guy closes in on a woman who’s just about to order her margarita, smiles at her and tries to get her number. The woman politely mutters “get lost” and mouths the word “loser” behind his back.

What happens next might just surprises you...

In just a few minutes, the same woman is laughing with this same guy and she’s touching his shoulders with French-tip coated fingers.

Anyone looking in their direction will think he managed to get lucky, but he knows better. He knows he can do it over and over again, despite a woman’s initial aloofness towards him.

You have to wonder what’s going on...

Is it the pick-up line or the magic wand?  How can a guy suddenly and drastically shift things to his favor after he has been severely mauled by an ice maiden?

Here's the "secret sauce"...

The secret truth to turning a bad situation into a promising one isn’t mind boggling… not at all.

In fact, it’s so subtle that you don’t really need to be beside the couple listening intently to what they’re saying to know what he’s doing. After she hisses her debilitating putdown, his conviction to make her see the light does not melt away with the fizz in his beer. No way, Jose...

His mildly bruised ego does not self-deflate under the attack of a sexy lady’s dagger-like gaze. Instead of being shooed away, this guy charges forward like a steamroller, unfazed and unafraid to pave everything in front of it… including her resistance, her cold demeanor and her psychological chastity belt.

Here's the thing you gotta understand...

The fact is that 90% of men let this initial coldness cripple their chances of landing a lay or getting a woman’s digits at the end of the night.

Only 10% actually turn things around, enough to get them the lay they were aiming for and then some. When the DeadlySeduction™ practitioner who knows the secret approaches a girl and gets greeted with the all-too-familiar “shoo-ing”, he doesn’t sulk in a dark corner muttering to himself, and cursing all the beautiful, sexy bitches in the world for being cold-hearted.

Instead, he will charge forward, adapt his conversation according to the situation.

The biggest barrier to success with women...

Now, you might want to ask me… “Derek, what makes this guy want to move forward despite being mentally and emotionally slapped with a stinging rejection?”

OK, here's the answer.

I will explain the principle of breaking mental barriers using my own experience in a while, but before that let me first talk about how Olympic records, Guinness World Records and Sports Records get busted.

When someone manages to complete a feat that was once thought of as impossible, he sets a record. For a while everyone basks in the amazement brought by that single feat and everyone is convinced how it’s virtually impossible for anyone else to top it. That is… until someone actually DOES.

Taking this further, let’s take your favorite sport as an example. You might have someone you think of as a legend in that sport… a person or a team that never failed to deliver something astounding in terms of achievements in the field.

The record they set has become the criterion that everyone acknowledges as the LIMIT for anyone. This, my friend, is the mental barrier that everyone faces -- fans, athletes and ordinary spectators alike. It becomes the measuring rod for anyone who wants to succeed in that sport, and inevitably, it becomes everyone’s goal.

But the thing is this.

The moment someone busts that mental barrier, everyone thinks that record is beatable, and it no longer holds its place as THE unbeatable mark.

Going back to the game of seduction, can you apply this principle of a mental barrier preventing you from achieving something? Of course!

Why you are your own WORST enemy!

Here’s the thing – whenever you say “I can’t do that, can I?” you’re placing a mental barrier between you and the other things you CAN do.

It’s different when someone dares you to beat his record. You’re challenged and raring to prove a point. However, if you are talking about your own achievements, it might take a while before you start thinking of busting your own “record”.

Here's the thing. Breaking someone else’s mark is a difficult yet extremely achievable accomplishment.

You have your target in front of you, and all you need to do is to reach that goal and you’re golden. However, the rules inside your head CHANGE drastically when it’s your own mental barrier that you’re trying to bust.

You see, men get complacent in the dating game when they achieve a marginal level of success. They think that’s their limit and pushing beyond that becomes inconceivable.

You’re not the only one with this problem. When it comes to seducing women, most guys limit themselves using mental barriers.

They might say ‘I’m happy with what I have accomplished so far’ and don’t go beyond that because the next step is something that they think they could never do.

So… when a woman haughtily expresses her distaste by telling you she’s not interested, some men give up and tag that woman as ‘too difficult’ or ‘not worth the effort’. STOP! That’s the mental barrier right there.

But a trueblue seducer won't think that way. He will be convinced that if he puts in more effort into the seduction process, the woman will put out. Usually, success with this girl is possible if a guy thinks so. He does not let himself get weighed down with the weight of his mental barriers.

Friend, I'll see you on the other side...

When you push through that barrier, something magical happens.

Your reality will change. Succeeding with women regardless of the rejection will give you the confidence that you can do it over and over again. You’re not just getting lucky now.

Turning things around despite getting rejected becomes the new ‘normal’ for you. And, the amazing thing is that women will think so, too. 

It’s almost always a given that a woman will respond easily to a man if she’s under the impression that other women acknowledge him.

A woman can sense guys who are ‘naturally’ attractive, which only means that he was able to give off the vibe that he’s not just looking for a ‘lucky break’… he’s actually used to succeeding with women anywhere, because it’s just the way life goes for him. She will begin to think of him as the prize she can’t afford to lose.

For this reason, the most charming ladies men you know can go from being bitch-slapped to making out with the same girl in just a matter of minutes.

Now, you might want to tell me this: “Derek, sure, I can’t deny that I have these mental barriers, and I have no idea how to break them.”

Believe me, dude, I’ve been there myself, and here’s how I made it through every single barrier that I set up myself.

Simply put, here’s how I managed to trick my mind into busting my own limits… I identified my comfort zone and added a hint of discomfort every time I got too complacent.

Here's what I do...

I used to be content with just approaching and flirting with women. Most of the time, a bar or a club will attract the same (or similar) crowd each week and I was bound to see a girl I made out with the last time on the same night in the next week.

It occurred to me that I should at least get these women’s numbers for meeting up outside the club scene, but for the moment, I was content with just being there where the action is.

It was my comfort zone and the notion of venturing out of it made me queasy.

So what did I do next? Read on...

I made it a point to get a woman’s phone number every time I’m in conversation with her. Sometimes, I’d get a stinging “no”, sometimes I’d get a “sure, why not”.

Soon my level of comfort with this new ‘reality’ expanded and I found myself automatically asking for a woman’s number whenever I talked to her (and whether or not I made out with her in the club).

The funny thing is that my success rate increased substantially with this new level of confidence that I acquired by busting that mental barrier of “inability to get women’s phone numbers”.

Did I still have a mental barrier in place? Yes. While I was confident that I can get a woman’s number every time I try, I was still get some jitters about asking a woman to move out of the club with me that same night to go somewhere more private (even I have done it again and again).

This was the new ‘scary stuff’ for me, but after I tried doing that with two women, I managed to break that mental barrier as well.

Take it from me...

Breaking your mental barriers is all about taking baby steps in the right direction. Once you have placed that goal in front of you, inching closer to it becomes do-able.

Dude, look...

I may not have an idea of the specific mental barriers that you might have.

But take it from me and learn from my techniques for best results because I had been studying the female species over the last six years and have become familiar with the mechanism that triggers attraction for women.

Deadly Seduction: Mental Barrier