Deadly Seduction: After Number

Holding off the first follow up after the first meeting might have worked for other guys, but this isn't a steadfast rule as far as seduction is concerned.

Why? Here's something you should know about night interaction with attractive women. If you don't call immediately, she will forget about you.

A man must not shelf a woman's number or wait too long to initiate the first contact because he risks a woman's tendency to forget. Soon, she won't remember the reasons why she gave you her number.

Worst of all, she wouldn't remember whether or not she liked you in the first place. If a woman is a hot item and guys are always asking for her number, she might just assume you're someone she met but never intended to date.

Given this, when do you think is the best time to follow up your fated meeting? A day? A couple of days? A week? A month? A whole year? The next blue moon?

Here's the obvious answer to this problem...

Send her a text message before you even call her.

Warning. Your first few follow ups should not be phone calls. What you need to do is send your first SMS and wait for a reply. If your first message hits home, you can start communicating with her through text, while resisting the temptation to call her.

Look, I know a phone call is more convenient for you. Even in this day of SMS domination so many of us still can't see the point of typing out shortened versions of regular words in a small screen to express our feelings when we have the means to call women and save time.

If you're the impatient type, your choice of communication might not include SMS. After all, it could take her a few hours to reply, and you cannot wait that long.

But, hear me out here. If you met a girl while you were clubbing and you manage to get her phone number, she must have felt something for you at that moment to give you a way to contact her again after that night.

Women in bars are extra cautious about giving away contact information. If she gave you her real phone number and her real name, you know you did something right.

Before you start patting yourself on the back over this minor success, you must understand that you could destroy everything by not understanding the major factor why she liked you enough to give you her number in the first place.

The rationale for this isn't complex at all. In fact, it's so simple a junior high student can explain it to you. In one word, let's call it 'fantasy'. This is something that all women like and gorge on regularly. Have you ever heard how some women want to marry their dream guys? How about the thing about soul mates and princes?

To illustrate this further, let me take you on a trip around your girl's brain - and find out what exactly happened when she met you in the club that night...

A woman meeting a guy for the first time has a lot going on inside her head.

You need to understand what these things mean to you to really discover why receiving a phone call from you for the first time after your meeting isn't a good idea.

For our purposes, let's suppose her name is Joanna, a twenty-three year-old, drool-worthy beauty, who went out with friends to a nightclub just for kicks.

She works as a clerk in an office somewhere and she likes to go out regularly to manage her stress and to get away from reality for a moment. As soon as she enters, she isn't in her reality anymore. She's carefree and able to flirt on a whim with any guy she chooses.

Inside the four corners of the club, she meets men who iconify her idea of a dream guy. In the room somewhere, there's a guy who can sweep her off her feet.

In this post-adolescent fairytale land, she hears lovely music and her blood rushes through her body together with adrenaline and excitement. Of course, the booze she consumed might have something to do with the euphoria she's feeling.

The point is that she is so far removed from the boredom, toil and chores of her daily life when she meets you.

Because you looked the part, she thinks you're the guy she wants to meet. If you started your conversation right by bantering with her, teasing her about what she's wearing, and flirting with her until her face is suffused with color and her hands are shaking with anticipation.

In her head, she's back in high school again, and having her first date with the guy of her dreams.

What happens next? The promise. She gives you her number and makes you swear to call her to meet up again some time. You were a hair-breadth away from seducing her completely, but you weren't able to. "I'll get her next time", you think, as you stash her calling card away.

The whole shenanigan is as surreal for her as it was for you, and realizing this is important if you want to ever set the date up.

Because you don't want her to forget about you or mistake you for someone else, you call her up in broad daylight Sunday morning while she's still sleeping off her hang over.

A cell phone pealing loudly wakes her up and she sees your name or your number on her cellphone's screen.

Now here is how it could all go HORRIBLY WRONG...

Three things immediately happen when you call:

1. She remembers how she flirted with you the night before and she realizes to her horror that she even let you kiss her.

2. She starts wishing she never gave her number to you. And,

3. She promises herself she will never drink again.

The moment you call, she gets reminded of her activities from last night. She cringes, she goes into a panic as she feels the pressure of talking to you when she's not ready. She doesn't answer the phone like the love stricken girl you flirted with in the night club last night.

You see, for the moment, the fantasy is over. She's in her real world again, and you rudely reminded her that she did something she should be embarrassed about the night before.

Her inhibitions are up. Her logic has kicked in again. To her, you're a part of her weekend fantasy, which doesn't really belong in her cold reality.

Listen to me closely now...because this can make or break your success with women.
Forever.

Let me reiterate: if you call a girl for the first time after your meet up, you're subliminally forcing her to talk to you before she can deal with the fact that she is letting you invade her personal space outside the surreal dreamworld she weaved inside her mind during her night club frolic.

Because these things are running through her head at full speed, she will hesitate before talking to you because she might make another gaffe that she will regret later.

If this twinge of reluctance turns into full blown hesitation, you will never get her to answer her phone.

But if you send her a text message, she will reply. Why? Here are some benefits of text messaging that are bound to work to your favor...

1) The letter romance. Women like getting love letters. A message from you, no matter how short, is a letter to her.

2) You can edit, and re-edit, before sending. Texting gives you time to polish your messages, so that you don't inadvertently tell her something that might sound creepy or weird.

And most important of all...

3) You put the ball in her court. She doesn't have to think on her feet to answer a question. She doesn't have to worry that her voice cracks while talking to you. She doesn't have to get anxious about sounding stupid. She can take her sweet time writing her response.

Text her as soon as you can to encourage her to remember her fantasy about you. Do it before the memory of your first meeting fades into oblivion. If I were you, I’d text the day after.

So, here's what you need to do.

In a nutshell, here’s the technique you can use to communicate with your girl through text:

Ask her to tell you something special about herself. This is a psychological tactic to get her thinking you're the prize she has to win. Letting her tell you herself what's so special about her will make her feel she has to put her best foot forward, or at least put effort in making you like her.

(This technique is similar to my patented "Focus Shifter" technique - on page 38 of the latest edition of DeadlySeduction™).

For instance, when you meet her in the club, you can tell her "Joanna is a common name among girls. So what's so special about Joanna the girl I'm talking to now?"

Take note that this technique will also let you in on what you can tell her later to remind her that she shared that information with you. Note her answer because this is the one thing she wants you to remember about her.

This tactic works best while she's entering her number into your phone book. Tell her to enter her description after her name when the prompt for contact name pops up on your cell.

Now, let's go back to what you can text her the first time:

Your first text must be something related to what she told you was special about her. This instantly generates a sense of familiarity, and it will make her feel like you became close the night before that's why she was able to share information about herself with you.

If you do this, it will also seem like she won your approval because you thought she's special. She will find herself thinking "oh he remembered what I told him" in sheer relief.

She feels relieved that you communicated with her again despite that she acted like she did the other night. In her head she's still thinking that you might have gotten turned off by something she did, and contacting her again means she gained your approval somehow.

If you managed to attract her during your first meeting, this message will naturally make her respond.

...and when you have gotten her to respond, then it's time to take it to the next level.

If you want proven techniques in virtually all situations you are in when in comes to dating women, then you have got to equip yourself with my proven strategy.

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Deadly Seduction: After Number